5 Challenges Parents Have When Organising Their Homes (& Tips on How to Address Them!)
As parents, we want to give the world to our children. With the best of intentions, we believe that providing them with the latest toys, clothes, and books will fulfill their needs & will ensure they don’t miss out on what their peers are enjoying. Sounds familiar?
The reality is that our children don’t need much. How many “expensive” & “trendy” items have we bought for our children that have not been attended to by them but instead they use the item for just a few days & then turn their attention to the box it came in?
Some of the most common concerns that parents come to me with are (these are excerpts from my actual conversations with them):
“With a child, it is difficult to keep the shelves organised and clean throughout the year”
“How do I convince my partner to organise his/her belongings & put them back in the right place? I am struggling with being the only person at home doing all the tidying up”
“I find it hard to let go of things I'm connected to although they don't serve any purpose”
“I want to teach my child and myself not to put value to material objects and appreciate what we have instead”
“I feel like I am constantly decluttering but my house still feels full & not organised”
Fortunately, every single challenge above has a solution!
Tidy your spaces first: Once you’re a confident decision-maker, you will be able to successfully collaborate with your child to help them simplify their spaces (think of it as putting your oxygen mask first before helping your child in an airplane. I love this analogy shared with me by my KonMari® colleague & friend, Ann). Try not to tidy your children’s spaces without them. Involve them as much as possible to gain their respect.
Be a source of inspiration, not coercion: It is natural to feel frustrated when you feel like the only one at home who puts away things to find that everything is in a mess again. What is important to note is this: no matter what your priorities are (in this case, tidying & keeping things orderly!), accepting loved ones for their priorities is vital. Since the home is a shared space, establish the boundaries & storage areas for everyone’s belongings. Once we’ve simplified our spaces, our family will one day notice how positively it affects us and will be inspired to tidy their belongings too. And if they don’t, it is still ok. Your relationship with them is to be cherished rather than making them feel miserable about their things.
Show daily gratitude: It is common for us to attach ourselves to memories of the past when we hold on to sentimental items. We are fearful of what may happen if the item is not in our lives or are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings if we let go of such items. But what may happen is that we might constantly be in a state of stress & anxiety (due to the presence of obligatory items in our homes) and we fail to enjoy the good things happening in our lives. Such items also take up precious real estate in our homes leading to a permanent state of clutter. By appreciating the items that serve us every time we put them back in their assigned locations (either silently or out loud), we become more content and at peace with what we have in our lives.
Value experiences over things: We tend to overthink & complicate matters when it comes to our children’s needs. I too was once like that. I’ve now realized that all the “stuff” doesn’t matter. The memories around how we use it with them are what will ultimately be treasured by the whole family. Parents are the gatekeepers of the home. We are responsible for what enters into our children’s lives & setting out healthy boundaries for their “stuff”. Not all stuff is bad, it is what we do with it that is far more important.
Understand your goals & follow the right method: When you know why you want to tidy in the first place, you will have clarity in your vision for your home and life. This vision will serve as a motivational reminder for your tidying efforts and you will be more successful in completing your tidying journey. Tidying your home intensively in a short period of time using the KonMari® Tidying Method will prevent the rebound of clutter in your home. If not, you will end up decluttering frequently for the rest of your life as you will continue to buy things that do not align with your values.
